Saturday, October 29, 2011
I have been wanting to write this blog for a month but the beautiful Kali has been dancing within my life and when she is here my words are not clear and sometimes my heart has dust (malas). A dear friend called yesterday who knew I was in the Kali Kave (cave) and left a message saying, "I hope you are finding some pleasure within your Kali Kave." These words made me laugh out loud and yes indeed there is pleasure, inspiration, clarity and even laughter when greeted the sweet and timely Goddess Kali. I don't mind sharing my Kali times because we all go there and really these are the times of transformation, manifestation and clarity so, 'BRING IT KALI ON!' For those of you new to Kali let me introduce you, she is the Goddess of time and change. She is sometimes referred to as the 'Dark Mother'. She is a fearless Goddess but can also bring up your fears to the highest in order to break through them and offer you an invitation to step into them. Within my own experience of the 'Kali Kave' I step into my own darkness to only seek more light, I connect to my inner fears and desires, I release and let go, I cry rivers...oceans..., I practice asana (physical and mindful yoga) like never before and I question my DHARMA (your highest purpose) to the fullest! We have to go into these darker moments within our lives to see what really matters, to love deeper, to believe in your path, to step into YOUR life with authenticity and gratitude. If we never went to the Kali Kave this life wouldn't mean so much and the precious beauty that surrounds us wouldn't be so precious.
This visit from Kali within my life included the clarity and question of Dharma as well as the opening of my heart to love again. As I bring in intentions within my classes at jalaBlu (jalabluyoga.com) I bring them in to share my own stories of life knowing.......I am not alone with challenging times and blissful times and that maybe.....just maybe.....they can bring you clarity, tears, joy within your own life journeys. So, this thing called Dharma..PHEW, it can be the nectar of life when you finally discover your 'dharma', your highest purpose, what you are meant to create or do within this life, etc.....(many ways of saying this and it doesn't always mean your career). Your 'dharma' could be making the most amazing chocolate cake...to bring yumminess into the beautiful souls that surround you or it could be to be a mother.........there is no limit on what could be YOUR 'dharma' and throughout life this 'dharma' could take many different shapes, forms and get bigger with time and change (Kali). Yesterday my intention was about the element 'air' and how there is no container. Air is nothing but expansive, no walls...floors or ceilings. Sometimes we limit ourselves to what we 'think' we deserve in life and we are not expanding our wings to the fullest. This I know because, I used to think I didn't deserve the highest love when it comes to a partner, I didn't deserve abundance, I didn't deserve to have a 'higher purpose'............crazy I know BUT, you would be surprised how many amazing souls think this same thing. I no longer think this but of course I can still go into my darker thoughts when Kali comes knocking on my heart door....:) OK...so back to 'dharma'. When I found Yoga, I found my heart and this is when I knew YOGA (physically and mindfully) was my 'dharma'. My 'dharma' right now is with jalaBlu in Buena Vista, CO (yoga studio). jalaBlu is coming up on two years which is hard to believe but my dedication to this little town to ignite YOGA in a powerful way is happening as I write. I know this is my 'dharma' because even as I write my emotions (hard to explain in words) start in my stomach....move to my heart and release in my eyes with gentle and loving tears. This summer was pretty darn slow at 'jala' and so the question of my 'dharma' came up many times and those negative thoughts started to roll within my mind to cover my heart up with MUD! However, now....jalaBlu is busier than EVER and classes are full, full and full and not just full with Yogis BUT, so full of love and energy! My point is....when you do find your 'dharma', it will challenge you and the reason (within my belief) is to see if you are truly dedicated and to also show you many perspectives and to not put your potential into a container............It will change shape...form and your wings will expand and the beauty is how it will just keep getting bigger and bigger. To 'believe' and step into the currents of grace, gentle or fierce. If your still reading then thank you.....I guess I have a lot to say.
Next on the Kali menu is LOVE!!! So yes, I have been in the Kali Kave with love and dharma....two big ones for sure and at times I thought I couldn't breathe. After two years, I decided to let my heart fly open again and try love with a beautiful soul. I do believe love is one of the scariest experiences out there and at the same time it can be one of the sweetest dances of life. The word vulnerability says it all! I love the quote, "Love is a risk! Do it anyway!" I'm no longer with this sweet soul and yes my heart was broken but, I refuse to close my heart off again.....To keep your heart open is to breathe in the fullness of life and to trust that the universe has a bigger plan for you and one YOU deserve!!!!!!
So, if you find an invitation from Kali within your life journey...........Open your heart, open your hand and take the dance! It's worth every precious moment and the light will shine in that Kali Kave again with abundance.
Anahata ~ Jenna and Kali